So, the Emmys happened last night.
Yeah, I didn’t know either.
Until I turned on Sunday Night Football (let’s not talk about it), and saw on the channel guide that the television awards show was taking place.
I didn’t see much of the actual ceremony, but everything I’ve read suggests the whole thing was an exhibition of straight blandness with host Jimmy Kimmel (who’s usually pretty damn funny) coming through with a so-so performance. So-so isn’t what anyone wants with one of these prime-time awards shows, though. You need a home run of Josh Hamilton proportions, or you’ve got nothing. Even the winners are beginning to acknowledge that. Consider Jon Stewart (arguably the funniest man on television), whose ‘The Daily Show’ won yet another Emmy for Outstanding Variety Series.
“Years from now, when the Earth is just a burning husk and aliens visit, they will find a box of these,” Stewart said, holding his Emmy aloft, “and they will know just how predictable these [expletive shows] are.”
Still, some shows and networks typically walk away pleased after they scoop up a ridiculous number of awards, particularly in the big-shot categories. ‘Homeland,’ Showtime’s CIA juggernaut gave AMC’s ‘Mad Men’ a big ‘eff you’ by unseating it for best drama series (‘Mad Men’ had won the last four years), and then scooped up best actress AND actor in a drama series (Claire Danes and Damian Lewis, respectively). I’ve never seen a single second of ‘Homeland,’ but I also haven’t heard a single second of bad buzz about it. When you kick ass and take names in the heavyweight categories, you’re doing something right. It’s supposed to be a fantastic show, and the people behind it have to be thrilled because no longer can people like me ignore it. I’ll search out the DVDs eventually, along with many other people.
The biggest loser had to be ‘Mad Men,’ right? It was nominated SEVENTEEN (17!) times and didn’t win a single award. Not one. Ouch. The good news? There are so many talented actors and actresses on that show, and you can still catch them churning out great performances in other areas. We’ve all seen ‘Bridesmaids’ by now, right? Well, if you haven’t, Jon Hamm’s one of the true gems as the d-bag f**k buddy of Kristen Wig. How many of you ladies have ever taken a lap nap?
And if you’re bummed about Jared Harris not winning best supporting actor, go watch ‘Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows,’ where he’s perfectly acceptable as the evil genius Moriarty. And if you have any desire to see Christina Hendricks get her head blown off in slow motion with a shotgun, go watch ‘Drive,’ starring Ryan Gosling.
I was pleasantly surprised to see Jessica Lange pick up a trophy for best supporting actress in a miniseries or movie as the subtly sinister Constance on ‘American Horror Story.’ The show really trailed off by the end of the season, but Lange was definitely the driving force all along. She’ll be back as the lead for season 2, which debuts October 17, and boasts a completely new story, setting, and cast of characters.
And finally, my guy Louis C.K. won for best writing for a comedy series — his own, ‘Louie,’ which continues to be a diamond in the rough.
Bring on the Oscars, the Emmy’s equally monotonous half-brother!